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Attitude |
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The longer I live,
the more I realize the impact of attitude on
life.
Attitude to me, is more important than the past,
than education,
than money,
than circumstances,
than failures,
than success,
than what other people think, say or do.
It is more important
than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break
an organization…
a school…
a home.
The remarkable thing is
we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude
we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past…we cannot change the
fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one
string we have-- and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to
me, and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you…
- Charles Swindoll
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Alter
Your Life by Your Attitude
-by Mary Miscisin
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How
important is your attitude? Can it affect what you might do
in a situation? How you might react or what you might say?
Can it affect your mood or your thinking?
You may already realize the importance of
your attitude and it's influence on so many aspects of your
life. So what can you do to make sure your attitude supports
the experience you want to have?
Notice Your Focus
It's interesting how two people in the same
situation can have a totally different experience.
Sylvia and Jack were invited to a friend's wedding.
At the mere thought of going to a wedding Sylvia's
mood began to plummet. "Weddings are so boring and
tiresome. I have to figure out what to wear, the
food is usually terrible, we have to dance to the
same tacky wedding music they have at all weddings
and make idle chit-chat with strangers. Do we have
to go?"
In contrast, Jack was thrilled and excited
with anticipation about the wedding. "I love weddings!
It's a chance to dress in my best duds, free food, free booze,
dancing all night, interesting people. What a blast! I can't
wait!"
With the difference in their attitudes, do
you suppose they would experience the same event quite differently?
Sylvia goes to weddings looking for terrible food, listening
for the "tacky" music and rolling her eyes at the
forced conversation with strangers. And this is what she finds.
All the while Jack enjoys free food, has fun dancing, and
makes new friends.
Determine Your
Goal
I f
you recognize that your attitude may have started to
spiral towards a frame of mind you'd rather not be
in, pause and clarify what you want instead. Ask
yourself these three questions:
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"Is
my attention focused in a direction that I want to go?" |
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"What
is the direction I want to go? |
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"How
can I refocus and take action now?" |
Imagine what might happen if Sylvia were to
decide that she wanted something different. Instead of focusing
on how boring and tiresome her past experiences with wedding
have been, she can create a new experience for herself.
If she determines that she wants to instead have a pleasant
time at the wedding, she can shift her focus and ask herself,
"What  can I appreciate right now?" Chances are,
if she were sincere, she would be able to find something.
Further imagine what this would do to her mood and ultimately
her experience at the wedding!
Take Action
I used this when I worked for an
insurance cooperative. My supervisor gave me a
choice between two new assignments. I did not
want either of them, I wanted to continue
working with my present projects. This, I was
informed, was not an option. Choosing the
"lesser of the two evils," I reluctantly
selected one of the two. The first day working
on the new assignment I was grumpy, moody and
resentful. I didn't enjoy feeling this way, yet
I reinforced my attitude by repeatedly
complaining to myself and others. "This isn't
fair, I had no choice, I am being forced to work
on this assignment, I have no enthusiasm for
this…"
A close friend of mine stopped me in the
middle of my protest and pointed out, "You did have a
choice, and you made it, so why are you making yourself miserable?
What can you find that is good about the choice you made?"
I paused and thought for a moment. He was
right! I was focusing on everything that I did not like about
the project instead of finding things I could like. I decided
to reframe my thinking and ask myself, "What can I appreciate,
right now?"
It was amazing how many things I could come
up with. I really appreciated having a job, one with great
benefits, my health, my co-workers, I was using my skills…the
list grew and grew, and so did my attitude…in a positive
direction. I was surprised how quickly my mood shifted. In
the days that followed I derived more and more enjoyment from
the new assignment.
Knowing what a powerful effect shifting your
focus can have on your attitude, think about the areas you
can use this in your life. Starting now, purposely look for
the things you can appreciate in every situation. You may
already practice this to a certain degree, if so, turn it
up a notch. Notice that when your attention shifts, your attitude
lifts! So, What can you appreciate right now?
Mary Miscisin is the author of
SHOWING OUR TRUE
COLORS,
A Fun, Easy Guide for Understanding and
Appreciating Yourself and Others.
(c)
2002 Mary Miscisin, All Rights Reserved.
www.PositivelyMary.com
Permission to
duplicate this article is granted ONLY with the copyright and
contact information intact.
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"Life
is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to
it, and so it is with you."
- Charles Swindoll
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